Mary-Jane Knudsen and the Elbis Mongs
The Church of Olster has warned that the current fad of tacky Elbis style ghey marriages would serve to weaken and dilute the institution for every homo living in Northern Eyeland. White jump suits and pork chop sideboards are just not acceptable to the good ghey Ghod fearing peeple of Olster. Apart of course from the ugly Canadian weemen who are naturally very hirsute. Note to self: Pubic chins on weemen is not a good look.
Old Knudsen and all his ex husbands agree. The last thing we need is to have gheys consummating uh uh huh, in the ass all over the alter while dressed as that awful dead Americunt, Elbis Prestley.
The church of Olster isn't a dying organization merely trying to stay relevant in a world that doesn't believe fairy stories from Americunt role models who have long abused their standing in the community ya know. They is totally important, not as important as the ghey church of Old Knudsen who is having a sale on wedding ceremonies and funeral services, buy one get one half price ......... an offer you can't afford to miss. Breeders need not apply, the durty abnormal cuntz.
Back to ghey marriages, don't make Old Knudsen get celebrity backing to beat you church of Olster mongs down, you and yer King of Menthpiss sado's ......... boy did he manage to fcuk up that cuntry even in todays world ... him and that James Brown dude. Don't get me started on them darkies.......
Ballycuntsie in Northern Eyeland, twinned with Menthpiss in the USA, has been inundated with faithful ghey mongs hoping to see an image of the Irish Elbis virgin herself. That would be Mary, the Jewish mother of Jebus and the Catholic graven image the taigs so wrongly worship and not that loose shaven beaver-licker Britney Spears whom the dumb Americunts worship every Sunday in the papers.
Old Knudsen is just telling you this in case you get it confused with Venus or Aphrodite whom Mary was based upon hence the name Mary 'Mer,' the sea, the blue robes and shell motifs as Venus was born from the ocean just off the coast of Ballycuntsie in Northern Eyeland .
Mary Jane McPhail, no relation to the ageing queen of the Canadian lesbians Mary Jane McHairy, who said that she saw and spoke with Mary, is a clairvoyant and spiritual healer, she is not expecting any monetary reward or anything as you'll find out if you book a healing session at her clinic in her old mothers back room overlooking Target on west 49th St, which has now gotten a ton of publicity.
Mary Jane, or Em-Jay as she likes to be called, says you have to stare at the sun in order to be blessed with a vision and if you don't see one then yer heart isn't open. Her awesome clinic can help you to open yer heart and your wallets as well as yer pussy lips. Obama used a similar excuse about the third world, "Oh they didn't say 'excuse you' after someone sneezed and they don't eat up all their dinners so no presents for them." Don't get me started on them darkies..........
Well there is no fool like a holy fool, you have to fall for it in order to believe. Yes you are all horrible sinners but if you fill up Old Knudsens church once a week and do as I say you'll get a nice big fat reward when you die .................. a lot of funting good that will do then. I want a man with blowjob lips who'll stick his finger up me hole while I'm alive.
When about 10,000 morons who lack faith and had to see proof turned up to stare at the sun they saw a miracle, the sun! Yep, its not often the sun shines but it broke through the clouds as if Ghod himself was guiding it and more than that it was glowing!
No one else saw the pretty white 35 year-old looking woman in robes that Em-Jay saw, but she did say she appeared and spoke, she said "Buy the box set DVD collection of Lesbian Lickers because its frakking cool."
Go to her clinic, but be warned the B&B's are full up while Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres will only be doing matinee shows.
Old Knudsen went outside and stared at the sun like ya do, he was surrounded by an intense light and heat and his face got a holy reddish glow that hurt when touched. Don't believe me or 10,000 other ghey people dumb enough to stare into the sun go and do it now! for the best results use binoculars and after an hour punch yerself in the face for being a total mong.