Holy Knudsen - Son of Ghod

Austrian Martin Humer, 82 an anti-pornography campaigner is demanding that a large crucifix bearing a sculpture of a naked Jesus be taken down from public sight as he deemed it offensive.
He is to organise a naked protest march down Main St to register his disgust.

The large sculpture has been hanging in a public square in Innsbruck for 20 years. Innsbruck Mayor Hilde Zach has told Humer the crucifix would say where it is.

Fucking Austrians, when did they become our moral compass? One minute they are goose-stepping about killing Jews and the next they are trying to tell us we can't take seeing what's under jesus' diaper. Well, the only naked human body I'm ashamed of is my own Mr Humer, when you got a cock the size of a small acorn then any ghey man would be ashamed. So what's an 82 year-old got against ghey porn? Can porn stars not earn a living too? you horn blowing porn Nazi, you don't even wear a cap for fuck sake.

I was kneeling in prayer the other day in front of a picture of the Irish catholic King of Eyeland, Ian Paisley. Leaning on my broadsword I used during the crusades stuck in the ground before me I got to thinking, "how the fuck am I going to get myself back up?" then I got to thinking about Christianity and what happened just after Christ's death.

Now I've got no time for you fucking heathen unbelievers out there, it was on the History channel the other day so it must be true, followed by UFO's and the end of the world.
Jesus was well hung then he drank some vinegar and ate some pickles, yummy, he died and the rolling stones came by but he had already done a runner to Canada or some other third world cuntry, well that's the gist of the story, oh I left out the very sexy Mary Jane Magdalene as played by Monica Bellucci. If he wasn't hitting that then I don't want him as my lord, what kind of Savior would let that go to waste?
So a ghey Christian sect/cult grew in Jerusalem and 65 years after the death another was formed in Syria. That one took off nicely as you can see........ not! I got to thinking, those in Syria were just basing their belief on what they were told or heard about the guy on google, its not like you'd hear all the bad stuff now is it? Like now when James Brown died its god father of soul this and that, no crack , wife beating or car chases with shotguns to be seen.
A child of deity rape Jesus H Christ went on to have delusions of grandeur when he found he could walk on water, cure the sick and deflect bullets with special wrist bands. Thinking he'd be freed according to the plan laid out by his biological father he was brutally tortured for hours then crucified until dead. Resurrected as a zombie he was then beamed up into the clouds to live in an undead state forever.

After 2 thousand years he holds a lot of pent up resentment as all the torture and crucifixion did was split the world into warring factions that he has no intention of returning to . He no longer speaks to God and calls Joseph 'Dad'.
I looked back to see what other famous men died in back in the day and came up with John Barrymore the actor .
He had words of wisdom you could base a religion on I suppose and is obscure enough but still to have been heard of by some.
"The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good."
"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."
Unlike Jesus he neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money, he died early, surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great lesson to Old Knudsen all these years.
The real son of God, JBM. Bear it in mind that when the Christian era was calculated in the 6th century the guy that did it was off by 4 years so it was actually 69 years after his death so the whole system is fucked anyway.
Someday they will find my blogs and quote from them and my work on your shitty little planet will finally be done.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Go ahead... shat on me again.