Old Knudsen is a Durty Faker

Old Knudsen was hiding in the bathroom at my extreme self defense classes for resentful housewives and aged lezzers last night trying to think of a way to fool you 354 gullible cunts, I mean... loyal readers of my blog on this.

I could say some celebrity died or America was winning a war or some such totally unbelievable shite, but it hasn't fooled too many over the last 6 and a half years, well ok there was the odd mong that googled Shatner's death ........... you know who you are. Have you caught the lie yet? yes my lovely reader there are not others stupid enough to read my blog you are alone. In fact Old Knudsen can't even be arsed to pretend there are others by making fake comments like all the rest do.

Well ok, except for Mago and Bock the Robber, Old Knudsen does not have any other fake profiles.

In between kicks to the groin from Mary Jane lezzer (pictured above, but when she was still attractive) which did make me quite horny I came ............................ to the conclusion that whatever I say today will not believed as my reader is now too smart even though they are still reading so consider yerself an Oxymoron which means yer strong as an ox and as thick as ox shit.

I should explain that self defense is handy when I cum across odd lone weemen in the park, being a hand to groin expert I let the ladies beat me up for practice. They prefer the kicks and punches while I like to wrestle, it just took them only a week to become fast on their feet, quick learners damn it.

So today I have many confessions to make: Old Knudsen is not old, he is an Americunt from Florida before he moved to Texas and then Callyfornia. He is a pacifist, he never served long in any armed forces (Old Knudsen deserted twice from the Marine Catering Corp) he didn't once or twice take the Queen of London up the shitter. He is ghey for chrissakes, weemen leave him cold. He does actually smell like piss, a total homo he does get aroused by gurlyboys from Thailand, he did not leave Bobby Turner for dead in the trenches of Flanders, Bobby was well and truly dead before I went through his pockets.

He has never committed a crime in his life (other than sex crimes) and was in the Coast guard and gurl scouts never the regular army other than peeling taters. He is not Scottish, Irish or even English. He is a mongrel, a witless child dragged from army base to army base by his alcoholic stepmother. He doesn't spit at bartenders to get their attention and has never taken a shite in the toilets on display at Home Depot, he also tips waiters ................ with money, apart from that insipid cunt Manuel who is gheyer than Davie Crockett's hat.

Ok, with that said I have to go as I am adopting a darkie child from a third world cuntry of New Mexico. Old Knudsen loves children, especially boys and is a positive role model fer the wee cunts.