Me and Audrey Hepburn, she had long passed her Roman holiday glory.
After the end of the second world war I was asked by director John Huston to star in a movie along with Audrey Hepburn called 'The African king'. John always had a soft spot for me after I auditioned so well for him on the casting couch. It's amazing just how erotic a beard can be when it's tickling your ball bag when your plum-dunking. The movie was about me helping a missionary position woman to sink a German patrol boat by ramming my boat 'The African king' into it in Eastern Africa during world war one.
Africa has a special place in my heart, Boer war, Apartheid, aids, famine and genocide ach I'm missing it just thinking about it. Nothing like gazing on the beautiful animals that God created in all his wisdom and shooting them. The local darkies laughingly called me 'endangered species Knudsen' but funnily enough never when the gun was loaded and I had 2 bottles of Jim Beam under my belt.
A lot of the movie was shot in Africa. That's where John met Sissy and little Whitney Huston was made. What a fine child she was, always asking, "Uncle Knuddy what is that yer smoking, can I have some?"
Audrey suffered from a severe case of the shits while over there, but that still didn't stop me from hitting that. No, not in a brutish way, well maybe a little bit brutish. I do like rough anal, but usually I am on the bottom, no.. really, no pun intended. Hitting is slang for fornicating though I may have donkey punched her in the back of the head the odd time when she shat over me cock. We did the swimming scenes in a studio tank in England and at times it was like swimming in corn covered in gravy. The dirty bitch.
In Africa the caterers were local and served a dish known as 'long pig' it was very nice and tasted more like cock meat than pork. I later found out that long pig meant 'human' we filmed in the Congo so I'm not surprised, it did give me a taste for it and I've enjoyed it ever since. Human flesh that is, as well as cock.
Test audiences found my fake American accent too difficult to understand and to be honest Audrey wasn't the best choice for the role either.
They remade the movie with a few changes. Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn replaced us and even though that ugly butch cunt Bogart won an Oscar I don't think he was as good as me. He couldn't sing, dance or sashay like I could. The film was however named after me out of respect for all the dicks I had blown during my time in the jungle. You Tarzan, me ghey! They called it 'The African Queen' which sounds very nicely right ghey and my version was sadly only released in Asia.
After the end of the second world war I was asked by director John Huston to star in a movie along with Audrey Hepburn called 'The African king'. John always had a soft spot for me after I auditioned so well for him on the casting couch. It's amazing just how erotic a beard can be when it's tickling your ball bag when your plum-dunking. The movie was about me helping a missionary position woman to sink a German patrol boat by ramming my boat 'The African king' into it in Eastern Africa during world war one.
Africa has a special place in my heart, Boer war, Apartheid, aids, famine and genocide ach I'm missing it just thinking about it. Nothing like gazing on the beautiful animals that God created in all his wisdom and shooting them. The local darkies laughingly called me 'endangered species Knudsen' but funnily enough never when the gun was loaded and I had 2 bottles of Jim Beam under my belt.
A lot of the movie was shot in Africa. That's where John met Sissy and little Whitney Huston was made. What a fine child she was, always asking, "Uncle Knuddy what is that yer smoking, can I have some?"
Audrey suffered from a severe case of the shits while over there, but that still didn't stop me from hitting that. No, not in a brutish way, well maybe a little bit brutish. I do like rough anal, but usually I am on the bottom, no.. really, no pun intended. Hitting is slang for fornicating though I may have donkey punched her in the back of the head the odd time when she shat over me cock. We did the swimming scenes in a studio tank in England and at times it was like swimming in corn covered in gravy. The dirty bitch.
In Africa the caterers were local and served a dish known as 'long pig' it was very nice and tasted more like cock meat than pork. I later found out that long pig meant 'human' we filmed in the Congo so I'm not surprised, it did give me a taste for it and I've enjoyed it ever since. Human flesh that is, as well as cock.
Test audiences found my fake American accent too difficult to understand and to be honest Audrey wasn't the best choice for the role either.
They remade the movie with a few changes. Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn replaced us and even though that ugly butch cunt Bogart won an Oscar I don't think he was as good as me. He couldn't sing, dance or sashay like I could. The film was however named after me out of respect for all the dicks I had blown during my time in the jungle. You Tarzan, me ghey! They called it 'The African Queen' which sounds very nicely right ghey and my version was sadly only released in Asia.
You can't win em all. Unlike Bogart the macho bastard.
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Go ahead... shat on me again.