Crazies, We're Out There

So many crazies out there pretending to be someone they aint. Be careful people, you heard it first here from the horses ass himself. Anyhoo, on with the show.

Without doubt I am the inspiration for the Beatles song Helter Skelter, sure I'll admit to that because I may be a ghey lover but I ain't no dancer as the lyrics go. I do the old Ballamory two step with my webbed fingers pointed to attain full on sex God effect.

You'd think for someone who is a cock smith he'd be able to thrust his hips on the dance floor but no Old Knudsen does not excel at everything he does just most things, apart from retaining sexual partners, is it my breath or lack of girth?

I went to the California State Prison in Corcoran to see my long time friend Charlie Manson. I haven't seen that cunt since the 60's when we met at Brian Wilson's house. He was a beach boy in case you didn't know and I was a muse to the stars, a sexual plaything to Errol Flynn, a mere hole to Burt Lancaster, and fuck all to anyone who really mattered in Hollywood.

Manson scared me, you can do crazy eyes all you want but he was just plain evil. These days he looks like a kindly old duffer with a nice wee tasteful swastika carved into his forehead. His crazy eyes are weak and milky and at the age of 74 he now looks like Billy Joel. Billy boys we used to be called, a mad group of cocksuckers that ate our way around the 70's music scene. I drank more cum than milk back in the day.

Not such a cool cult icon now though, huh? the best ones die young. I know, I infected them.

People have always called Charlie a serial killer, that's when I remind them that Manson never killed anyone himself. He only talked some stoned hippies into doing it for him. A sick wee puppy that should have been drowned at birth , nothing special. My Maw tried to drown me at birth, she also tried to sell me to white slavers before giving up and hiding me in the attic for the first 43 years of my life. Never did me any real ha..ha..ha..ha..harm though.

Its been 40 years since the so-called Manson murders and all him and those family wankers have done is drain the resources of the country. If you don't intend to ever free them then just kill them. Criminals get better food, job training, accommodation and health care than most innocent civilians, is that right?

By the way Charlie, should you ever get out and come looking to revenge my ass, my address is posted on all good ghey porn websites. Nyuk nyuk.