The Colonel and Me
My handlers never tell me what the next job is or what side Old Knudsen is on. It gets a little confusing because one minute yer eating sausage rolls with Col Gaddafi at some BP function and the next yer teaching National Transitional Council Fighters how to shoot straight and kill said ghey Colonel.
Sandniggas don't have it in their DNA to shoot straight ,just like a fly cannae understand a pane of glass, or Mago can string 3 words together without help, so ya have yer werk cut out for ya.
Times being tough I was doing a wee under the table job for Muammar as he was running out of friends. Old Knudsen is not just a ghey friend to any living or dead dictator, he also likes money and fawning ego strokers, terms and ghey conditions may apply.
It was a hot day and the Colonels man fat was pouring out of me back pussy like watery gravy, so I said, "Mumraa me mucker, you go down to the Mini Mart and get yerself some cream for yer Jheri curl as yer losing yer bounce, oh and pick me up some ciggies with Abdoul or whoever that one is cos I'm going on me break".
Gaddafi shrugged and headed out into the harsh sun that glinted off the tacky golden pistol that he promised faithfully that he would give me in payment for letting him fuck me hard in the hole as well as keeping him safe by killing loads of heterosexual rebels.
I'd killed 5 or 20 rebels already so I was feeling like I needed a break and a dump before the toilets started to back up thanks to the NATO bombings. I do like to hang out in the men's bathroom when I can, you just never know what fun can pop up out of nowhere.
So I was sitting on the crapper reading my newspaper and eating my cheese and pickle sandwich, a wise precaution as cheese just goes right through me like a Can****n hockey team goes through a dozen male prostitutes.
The Colonel took off with his convoy of Abdouls and Ahmed's, ach baby sitting can get sooo tiring, how much trouble can they get into at yon Mini Mart? then I heard the sound of NATO up to their old tricks bombing the fuck out of something followed by a smattering of gunfire ............ the penny dropped. No really somehow I'd swallowed a penny ach the odd things you find in yer shite.
My ultra keen senses were screaming at me "AMBUSH!" but I'm not taking a bullet for nae cunt during my break, besides, a nice dark chunk of Arab meat without a foreskin had popped itself through the glory hole I had made in my cubicle. You sad fuckers know just what a sucker I am for a big cock. The rest is history.