Pope Knudsen III
When Old Knudsen is made Pope the first thing he'll do is fire people and get rid of a lot of those filthy kiddy fiddlers. I just know that every ghey Proddie is eyeing up the innocent altar boys at St. Joseph's. Fucking hands off, they're mine!
Priests can marry weemen or men, not boys to prove they are into adults and if they don't want to get married then they get neutered. Old Knudsen was very nearly a eunuch, thankfully I fitted through the scullery window in the basement when Papa Knudsen first made a midnight descent down the cellar steps.
No weemen clergy, as Old Knudsen thinks they are best behind the scenes making tea, having periods and the like, if it wasn't for tea we'd all be speaking German. "Ve vill keel all the Americunts first, zen ve vill keel dogs, Jewz and ze Orange order."
Since you can't tell weemen anything they will no doubt becum clergy and can kill off unborn babies if they feel like it, Old Knudsen just doesn't want to hear the nagging.
Up the bum, double dipping, splurge the hole fantastic with or without a condom who cares as long as its consensual between adults? No, I repeat no cap drilling without having cleaned and inspected all 3 sets of equipment involved and an easy to remember safety word.
No Hell, Heaven or Purgatory just the great cosmic soup as sin is old hat, just behave yerselves. If you don't behave yerselves you are doomed to repeating the same miserable existence time and time again, but this time in Norn Iron with the bog trotters. Cabbage soup, raw bacon and watery gravy. Not a BLT in sight.
Ghod may or may not have a plan, but either way you'll get proper cunted at some time so find a way to learn from it and grow as a person or you'll be stuck in the this life and the next life as a blogger. Fucking hell as we know it!
Count yer blessings, don't slouch and finish yer dinner as there are plenty of little darkie children starving everywhere. Except of course in America, where they are all fat overweight little fuckers with braces, acne and Hollywood accents. Bastids the lot of em.
Have a good weekend, Old Knudsen is off to hide in the bushes with his condoms, Werthers Originals and a big yellow toothed smile.