Ghetto Abe Knudsen
Old Knudsen may welcome death as a nice rest until the next time the planets align but he is afraid, well when I say afraid I don't mean in a stand on a chair just because the floor is covered in cockroaches way, I mean afraid in a way of people seeing me display affection or caring in some ghey way. Old Knudsen is currently experiencing European suburbia, thousands of bland homes that all look the same with streets that have funky names like Pishy Meadows Bog or Silver cum peat lake view with no meadows or lakes in sight, never mind great oozing globules of silvery cum. Nah just ugly pebble dashed houses with lawns and trees full of shite-arse birds covered in sticky, clingy mud.
It does my old blackened heart good to see a hold out, someone who said "fuck you" to the people who bought the older houses so they could tear them down and replace them with a thousand same looking dwellings.
Some times you might see a small strange out of place house with the front door a foot away from one of the new houses. Its sad because many of these houses are now empty due to the economy and others are sitting half built waiting for things to pick up. Small focking chance my boy.
Old Knudsen does like to see the odd bit of wild life in these soulless streets, a hawk or even a dragonfly is a welcome reminder that man is not all powerful that he can wipe out nature with these samey-same oirish homes.
Before in my former Americunt ghetto home the wild life would be shaven headed hoodlums holding their cocks as they walk about in their over sized clothes with a pit bull on a chain straining to eat someone.
Old Knudsen has often thought that people were like a virus growing and destroying the earth but now I can see how its mutated in some parts of the world and the human virus makes a strain called 'tract homes' to fill in any space of land and with a strip mall of all the same shops and fast food joints that has each town seeming familiar.
Many of the Americunt people who live in these homes hide within the walls without even realising it. Fix it up, tend their lawns get their opinions from talking heads on the news shows, remember when the news was reporting? now its opinion giving. Get yer ice from the door of yer fridge yer air from a big box in the garden and yer thoughts from crazed panic mongers on the telly.
I must say that even though tons of people live all around me here in Paddyville its quiet and I hardly ever see them, a few come and go but I don't really see complete families its like they have tunnels to the next street.
I can see how these people have a sense of safety as no one bothers them. Old Knudsen always hears stories about a brutal crime and some mong always says, "Its such a safe neighbourhood that no one even locks their doors at night" it doesn't take much to lock a door and why would you be so stupid as to think you'd be safe? Oh yeah cos you don't live in the real world. Don't be such a pretentious, opinionated cont. Deal with it, crime isn't just something the Yanks drool over, it's here' it's real and it's coming to bite an asshole like you Mr I-never-lock-my-fucking-door-at-night. I blame the darkies myself,the Mexicans, the raggies, the Puerto Ricans and of course the darkies. Did I mention the blacks? If mankind could only invent a time machine then I personally would go back in time and put Abe down with a single shot to the head, but this time 20 years earlier just to make sure.
Am I rascist? Am I fuck. I'm a realist, a really old realist with no patience and a saggy sack of bitter balls. Cheery-bye the noo.
Posted by Old Knudsen Old Bitter Balls